How do we respond to the difficulties children and teenagers face? Usually, by trying to repeat what we did in the past that was effective. However, children – and especially teenagers – change, we change, and so do circumstances. So, what do we do when we are not achieving our goals? Clearly, we need to follow a different approach. We must be flexible and consider alternative perspectives that fit the new reality.
Supporting Children and Teenagers
There are times when children and teenagers show intense emotions and out-of-control behaviors, either at home or at school, and traditional methods such as rewards and punishments bring no results. You've tried everything, you feel exhausted, and you don't know what else to do.
Why Traditional Methods Don't Work
The fact that something worked in the past does not mean it will work just as effectively in the future, especially since circumstances have changed. Circumstances change dynamically. Children – and especially teenagers – change, and we change. Therefore, we must be flexible and explore alternative perspectives that reflect the new reality or adapt existing ones. It's pointless to persist in something we can clearly see isn't working.
Inspiration Over Motivation
As parents, we try to give our children the best – above all, to provide them with motivation to grow. But that alone is not enough. There is an important difference between motivation (e.g., "if you study, you'll get an A"), which can sometimes be effective, and inspiration. The main goal is to inspire them to be independent, to solve their own problems, to find their own paths – not out of necessity, but by choice.
Building Life Skills
Don't just help them study. Don't just create the conditions that make their effort easier. Help them develop "soft skills" that will allow them to succeed, to envision, to discover new ways to move forward. To find paths of growth, not escapes from the problem.